American Dream?
by The DiscoMonster
Summary: A case from the Sanctuarty sends Skulduggery and Co. to Chicago. While there Fletcher's affections for Valkyrie blossom, and as Valkyrie discovers her own, she also finds she has irrational fears...
1. American Dream

**Hello. This is my second Fic. I wrote it for my friend Tatty201 (Also known as The DiscoMonster's wife… and also Mark Hanky-Gooky-Sulting.) she's funny ;) Please don't knock me because I based this in Chicago. It just the way I write. I was born this way… ;) YES IM A LADY FAN! CLUE'S IN THE NAME!**

**Anyways. Hoping you enjoy. Dunno how long its gonna be. Probably **_**wont **_**have an updating schedule like I did with my Gone fic… but ah well. **

**RAAAAAAAAWWWWW!**

**Did I scare you? Bet I did ;) **

**Monster xx xx xx xx **

**X **

**VPOV.**

I was just pulling on my boots when Fletcher popped up in front of me. "Ready to go yet? Or are we still waiting for you to do you hair, make-up, make sure you look good, which you do by the way…" he blathered on while I rummaged through the piles of food wrappers on my desk for my phone. "What are you looking for?" he asked coming to stand behind me, his verbal filter seeming to stop the random gibber that was spewing from between his lips.

"My phone," I replied, not looking at him. "Aha!" I yelled when I found it under a pile of tic tac boxes… mm minty freshness. "So, where are we headed?"

"Off to Ghastly's, Skulduggery called me a minute ago and was all '_meet us at Ghastly's in twenty five or I'll do some scary mumbo jumbo to youuuu!' _and then he did this freaky evil laugh slash ghost howl. It was weird so I hung up on him." He grinned and nodded his head slowly.

"Yes, because that makes you _so _much better than he is."

"Sarcasm noted."

"Ahh-thank you." I smiled and he returned it. We stood there for about a minute grinning stupidly at each other before it became unbearably awkward.

"StteeeeeeeeeeEEEEE_EEEPH!" _The call from downstairs ended in a scream and broke the awkward silence.

"Crap! My folks are here! Hide under the bed!" I said, flapping my arms at him.

"I'm not hiding under your flipping bed, _we live together,_ you're coming with me right now and we're going to Ghastly's. Besides, you know how chatty your Mum gets when ever I'm around… I think she fancies me."

"Oh yeah… and my mother does _not _fancy you! She has had two wonderful children with her husband Desmond and she is happily married!" I squealed, ugh image… shudder.

"What ever, I could make her a _very _happy woman you know…"

"Ugh! Shut up you stupid boy!" I said and walked out the door and down the stairs to meet my parents and sister at the door.

"Stephanie!" my sister Frankie sang before running up to me and wrapping her tiny arms around my waist. My mother came up to me next and disengaged my hyperactive three-year-old baby sister from my legs, lifting her up onto her hip. "Fletchie!" Frankie squealed with the same, if not more, amount of enthusiasm. "Mummy, when are Fletcher and Stephanie going to get married?" the silence that followed was deafening.

_Hmm… awkward, you could call it that, right?_

"Uh…" was my mother's response. Obviously, she thought that we were actually dating, but we're not, even though we're living together. But that _really _doesn't count because we're living in Uncle Gordon's house and it's _huge _so we hardly ever see each other here unless we're cooking, leaving or walking through the damn door. Except that _really _uncomfortable time when he was walking around covering himself with a _flannel _because he couldn't find the damn towels and had to come find me in the study… yeah, that day was pretty bad even though I got a good look at his abs.

"Umm, Frankie, Steph and I aren't going to get married." Fletcher said, shuffling his feet. The poor girl looked heart broken when she spoke.

"Why not?"

"Because we're not in love."

"Yes you are; you live together like Mummy and Daddy do."

"Yes, but we're just friends who go to school together." I said, adding myself to the gently-putting-down of Frankie and her wild dreams of Fletcher becoming her brother-in-law.

"Oh…" he looked down, leaning her head on my mothers shoulder. Then she brightened up. "I learned a new word at pre-school yesterday!" she clapped her hands excitedly.

"Oh yeah?" I said, "What's that?"

"Tallywacker!" she said and began giggling uncontrollably.

"What's a tallywacker?" Fletcher asked frowning.

"A boys pee pee!" she yelled, turned bright red, then started giggling so uncontrollably that she couldn't move her little arms. Fletcher stared at her, then at me, then at Mum.

"What did you need, Mum?" I asked, ignoring my hysterical sister who was now screaming with laughter. She was even doing that monster claw thing with her hands that made her look absolutely _insane! _

"Oh I just wanted to know if you could babysit tonight, but seeing what she's like right now… I wouldn't burden you two with that." She smiled apologetically.

It was quiet for a moment – well, as quiet as it could get with Frankie screaming, no one even tried to stop her. She really _is _the craziest of our mad family.

"Ah crap! We're gotta go!" Fletcher said grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door. "Bye!" we chorused to my mother and sister who were stood in the hallway watching us run up to my 67 black Chevy Impala. My baby.

"Can I drive?" Fletcher asked hopefully.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"When we make out, you can drive my baby." I said and got into the drivers seat, inhaling the scent of the leather seats and the pine cone air freshener. I started the engine and the purr of the engine made me smile as I put the car in gear and drove through the December snow. Fletcher fiddled with the radio relentlessly and sighed repeatedly when all he could get was static. "Uhg! Why is your radio so crap?"

"Uh, hello? This car is a good 43 years old! Don't knock my baby!"

"You have tonnes of money; get a new radio and a decent surround while you're at it!"

"Shut up, Fletcher! My car! My rules!" and we lapsed into silence until we reached Bespoke Tailor. I turned off the engine and got out of the car, locking it quickly in the hope of locking Fletcher in.

As we entered the shop we saw Skulduggery sitting at the table with his façade on and looking very pained as Tanith and Ghastly made out on the sofa, completely oblivious to mine and Fletcher's entrance.

"Ahh, Fletcher! Valkyrie! So good that you're here! Come on let's go and get some tea!" he hurried over to us and dragged us into the kitchen. "Oh thank the Lord they've been doing that for about 25 minutes, I'm deeply disturbed." He shuddered and turned to the kettle grabbing three mugs. After a few minutes of silence, Skulduggery handed both Fletcher and I a mug of tea to our preference and sighed.

"Sooo… I got a call from the sanctuary today. There are these kids in Chicago, their Grandma died a few weeks ago and she was an Irish sorcerer, and she had these pieces of jewellery that she left them in her will. Now Davina Mar has decided that she wants these pieces of magical jewellery and is now stalking these poor kids. They're probably gonna end up dead. Which isn't nice. I should know, I _am _dead and it's no fun. Anyway, the American sanctuary _would _take charge of this situation seeing as it's in their country and its Davina Mar causing all the hassle, but they decided that they would slap the annoying file on _our_ coffee table just because the old dead sorcerer was Irish. How daft is that?"

"Skulduggery? Are you telling me that we're going to Chicago?" I asked, grasping my mug with a steel grip.

"Yeah… but that's not all." He looked at his feet and mumbled to a stop.

"What?" Fletcher and I both inquired.

"Seeing as these kids are both 17, they're in school and we won't be able to protect them while they're there sooo…"

"Oh _hell no! _I just got out of high school! I'm not going back! And America of all places!" I yelled, successfully separating Ghastly and Tanith from their intimate lip-lock.

"I know, right?" Tanith said, wiping a bit of spit from her lip. Bleck. "I have to be an English teacher! Oh, but Ghastly's job is the best!"

"What is it?" Fletcher asked.

"He's gonna be the janitor." Tanith replied, wiggling her eyebrows and Ghastly laughed. "And Skulduggery's the head teacher!"

"Oh good Lord." Muttered Fletcher, "He'll make up some stupid rule that we'll all have to wear silly hats like his…"

"Hey! My hat is _not _silly! It's sophisticated!"

"Yeah, sophisticated for a clown."

"Shut up, Fletcher."

"Make me, Bones!"

"Stupid boy…"

"How did you know my nickname?" They bantered on and I sipped from my mug, refusing to contribute to their meaningless chatter. Plus, I was still mad at Skulduggery. America. Pout.

"And when exactly do we leave?" I asked, interrupting their babble.

"Two days."

"OH FINE THEN! THAT'S OKAY! I'LL JUST GO HOME AND PACK EVERY ITEM OF CLOTHING I OWN IN TWO DAYS, LOAD THE IMPALA BECAUSE IF YOU THINK IM GETTING ON A PLANE YOU CAN FORGET IT!" yeah you can tell I was pretty mad about the whole thing.

"Val, we're going to America, you can't drive to America." Stated Fletcher.

"Oh, I know, that's why you and I are driving to the coast, and then you're going to teleport us to San Francisco and we'll drive to Chicago." I smiled sweetly at him.

"San Francisco? Are you crazy? That's on a plate margin! Earthquake city central! Did you know they haven't had an earth quake since 1906? They have one coming for them! We're not going to San Francisco! And _why _are we going to San Francisco when it's in California! _Chicago is in Illinois!_" he yelled.

"Oh stop being such a baby; we'll only be there for one night! And I like driving!" I threw my hands up in frustration.

"Geez! Okay fine!" he held his hands up in surrender. "We'll see you guys in Chicago next year."

"Are you knocking my car?"

"Jesus, Val! Shut the heck up! You just killed the whole thing!" he shouted.

"You guys fight like an old married couple." Tanith said from her seat on the sofa.

"Yeah, well, it gets like that when you live with a bitch." Spat Fletcher.

"Shut up, Fletcher. Do you want to find another place to live? Because if you do I'll help you pack!" we were inches apart now, screaming at each other.

"I don't need your help!"

"Fine then! I don't need your help either! Go with Skulduggery and I'll drive on my own!" at that I stormed past him, out the door and into the street. It was pouring with rain and it was freezing. I quickly unlocked my car and threw myself into the seat, yanking on the seatbelt I turned the ignition and tore down the Dublin street in my attempt to get away from one infuriating boy.

**FPOV.**

I'm an ass. I watched as Valkyrie ran out to her car and sped off down the road.

"Well, you cocked that one up royally my friend." Skulduggery said in my ear.

"Please shut up."

"Hey, what the heck _was _that? I thought you liked her?" Ghastly asked.

"Yeah, I do. A lot. But sometimes she can just be so frustrating…" I mumbled.

"How often is sometimes?" Tanith asked.

"Mmm, every month or so? For about three or four days she is the biggest bitch ever." I said and they all chuckled at me.

"You douche!" exclaimed Ghastly, "If there's one thing you should learn when you're living with a woman is her period cycle!"

"Err! I'm not learning about _that! _Why would I?"

"Because that's what's making her such a huge bitch! PMS!" laughed Tanith.

"Oh…" they chuckled at my ignorance again. "Do you think I should go talk to her?"

"No, leave her to think of a thousand different ways to kill you slowly and painfully. Yes go and talk to her! Because if you leave her I can guarantee you will find your clothes chopped into little tiny pieces on the front lawn. And because she's on her period will only make that possibility even more possible." Skulduggery advised.

I nodded and teleported to her room, where she was throwing clothes haphazardly into a suitcase. Other items were being packed into a duffel bag; GHD's, a laptop, hairdryer, books, lots and lots of books, CD's, and other appliances. Draws were thrown across the floor and the duvet on her bed was in a pile at the headboard.

"I take it you're heading off today then?" she gasped and spun around, clutching a hard rock café tee shirt in her hand from a trip to New York we took a couple of years ago.

"Yeah I am. Don't worry, I' not forcing you to come with me I think I'll ship the Impala over and I'll stay in a hotel until it gets to San Francisco." She muttered and turned back to her packing.

"I'm coming with you." She turned back around, a confused look on her face.

"What?"

"I'm coming with you, but can we _not _go to San Francisco? One, it's a ridiculous distance from Chicago and two; I don't want to get stuck there waiting for a huge Earthquake." I pleaded. She sighed.

"Fine, where are we going?"

"Ohio?"

"Is that the only other state apart from Illinois and California you know of?"

"Yes."

"Fine, we'll go to Ohio."

"Yay! Am I forgiven about before?"

"That depends…"

"On what?"

"On whether you are willing to make me some of your amazing pancakes."

"That takes skill you know."

"I know."

"And time."

"Yes."

"And your forgiveness."

"It's yours."

"Lets go make some pancakes!" We ran down the stairs giggling like children, completely forgetting about packing, and I set to work on making some chocolate chip pancakes that Val is addicted to. Oh the power. One hour, forty seven pancakes and three trips to local supermarket later we were sitting on the sofa watching '_Eragon' _on the TV.

"They messed this film up pretty bad." Commented Val.

"Yeah… they really did." I replied not taking my eyes away from the TV screen.

"Eragon's fit." She continued.

"But not as fit as me."

"In your dreams."

"Oh come on! Look at his hair! It's flat! If you want good hair it has to be like mine."

"Humph." Humph? What was that shit supposed to mean? Pfft women. They really _are _from Venus. She stands up and turns top face me, her hands on her hips.

"What?" I asked, looking up at her from my position on the couch.

"We need to pack. Well… more specifically _you_ need to pack."

"Ok."

"No, knowing you you'll just stuff a duffel bag with one spare pair of jeans and a load of tee shirts. I refuse to buy you loads of new clothes when we get there. Including underwear."

"Can't I just teleport?"

"No. The American sanctuary has made it _very _clear that no magical skills are to be used unless in combat for this case, obviously not including Ghastly and Skulduggery's facades."

"Damn. That's pretty harsh."

"Yes it is and that means that you're gonna have to make an _effort _when packing." And then she turned on her heel and stalked up the stairs and headed for my room dragging a suitcase behind her.

**VPOV.**

Seven hours. That's how long it took to pack all of Fletcher's clothes. The freaky-haired-boy has more clothes than me! Plus it doesn't help that we needed another bag for his hair and beauty products. And then there were all his gadgets! iPods, an iMac and loads of other stupidly expensive items. Plus, it didn't help that he kept messing about with _my _packing; going through my underwear and commenting on my bra size. Ahem, I quote: 'wahey a C! I must admit I had my suspicions.' Yeah, I gave him a smack for _that _comment.

So… seven hours later, I was heading to bed, when Fletcher burst into my room… flat hair… in just his boxers. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just come barging into my room in just your draws! Jeez man! Get out!" I yelled throwing a blanket at him. He caught it and just held it, shuffling his feet. "What has you in my room at eleven anyway?"

"I…I uh, I had a nightmare."

"Are you joking?"

"No. It was really, really scary."

"I'm sure it was but why are you here?"

"It was scary."

"We've already established that but why are you _here, _in my _room?"_

"Can I stay in here with you? Please?" he looked up at me hopefully.

"What? No! Hell no! Get out! Go to bed and get some sleep!" I shooed at him with my hands but still he stood there, in his boxers, clutching a silk love heart blanket looking like me might cry.

"Ok," he cleared his throat, "Yeah, sorry… I'll just, uh…" he pointed behind him with his thumb and turned to leave. Jeez, the guy could make Satan feel guilty.

"Wait." He turned around, "I'll uh… lemme just pull out the sofa bed." I sighed and turned to my couch that was situated in the corner of my large room. "Oh, no! Let me get it!" Fletcher said and moved past me grinning like a fool and pulled out the bed inside the sofa. I went and grabbed some pillows and a duvet.

When I came back Fletcher was sprawled across the bed and was snoring soundly, but not loudly. From where I was standing in the door way, I could very, very, very clearly see his six pack, and his Pecs, and his biceps and the tattoo of a red star just to the left side of his body.

Sure, I'd seen him topless before; in training sessions he would soak his shirt through with sweat and would take it off. Tanith and I used to tease him about it before be buffed up, but now I'm lucky if I can go a session without him beating me at least once.

I shook my head and walked over to him, throwing the duvet over him and laying his head down on one of the pillows I headed over to my double. Mm I love my bed. I crawled under the covers and let myself drift into a soothing and fulfilling sleep.


	2. Tropophobia

**Chapter two is here! I hope you like it even if it is a LOT shorter than the last one, but hopefully I will make up for that with chapter three ;) so in this one, Valkyrie and Fletcher make their way to Chicago. :D **

**Oh! And I already have a basic plot line for this, but if you have any little suggestions, please do tell me in a review or a PM, and maybe I'll use them. No grantees.**

**And please, do review anyway. It's kinda depressing not seeing, like, any :/ **

**Monster.**

**I'm so scary ;)**

**VPOV.**

I woke the next morning to the sound of a blaring alarm. I rolled over and sent my clock flying across the room and smashing into a million pieces against a wall. "Not a morning person the, huh?"

_No shit_

Propping myself up on my elbows, I look over to where he is sitting with two mugs in his hands. "You know I'm not a morning person. Is that coffee?" he nodded and made his way over to my bed, handing me one of the mugs. I took a sip of the dark liquid and sighed as I felt it leave a trail of warmth from my throat down to my stomach and spread through my still awakening body. "How long have you been up?" I asked as I continued to slurp at the coffee greedily.

"Since four." He said sourly.

"How come?" I asked him, just as he sat down beside me on the bed.

"Another nightmare."

"Oh."

I knew what he meant. Those nightmares are tricky suckers. You can defeat your enemies, beat them into the dirt and kill them a million times, but they always come back at night. When you are completely unprotected, your own mind betrays you and relives your past horrors only it makes them worse. It portrays your deepest fears. Your loved ones being murdered in so many different ways you go insane.

I can't say how many times I've seen little Frankie cut up into little tiny pieces by Sanguine, or my mother being taken as a host by one of the Faceless Ones. It slowly kills you from the inside. I' terrified by my dreams. _Of _my dreams.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. He stiffened slightly but smiled none the less.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I would much rather prefer to pretend that it didn't happen." And with that he upped and strode out of my room, leaving me alone and very confused.

_Dreams- Oneirophobia._

I slammed the boot shut and turned to hug Frankie good bye.

"Gonna miss you, Steph!" she squealed.

"Oh I'm gonna miss you too, Frankie." I said and spun her around. "You go say bye to Fletcher, ok?"

"Yep!" she ran off into the house and I heard the sounds of him teasing her and her good bye. I turned to my mum and dad.

"It's only for a couple of months, guys."

"I know but I'm going to miss you _so much… _Fletcher too." Said my mum.

"Well duh, who wouldn't miss me?" Fletcher laughed walking out the house and closing the door, Frankie perched on his hip. "I'm the most amazing person in the world."

"Yeeeaaahhhhh – no." said Frankie and we all laughed at her comment.

"Ok well, we better get going before we miss the boat."

"Yep, okay. See you soon. I'll call every Saturday. Or Fletcher will if I'm doing coursework." Ah the perfect cover story; a geography trip to America for students.

"Ok, well make sure one of you calls." Said my dad.

"Will do. See you in a few months!" I said and we got into the car and drove away, my parents and sister standing on our driveway waving us off.

Half way down the long and winding country road, that kept my house from isolation, I pulled over and Fletcher got out, placing his palms on the roof of my car, but not before getting out a map and picturing Ohio and where it was located on the continent. I quickly hopped out and moved to stand next to Fletcher, with my hand on his arm.

Blink.

Franklin, Warren County, Ohio. Population a good 11,000. At least we're not in Cleveland. I hate large cities.

We're on the side of a motorway – oh sorry _freeway, _- and its raining. I squeal and run to the driver side of the car and look around relieved; so I can drive on the side of the road corresponding to my left hand drive. I sat in the seat and sighed just as Fletcher popped in. I pulled off the side of the road and drove off while Fletcher shuffled around in the glove compartment for my Satnav.

Soon enough we were pulling into a motel in the pitch black of night. "How many rooms?" Fletcher asked.

"Erm… if the rooms only have one bed then get two if not then just get one, ok?"

"Yep, okipokey."

"Don't say that, you sound like Frankie." He laughed and headed inside to grab us some rooms.

He came back out with a single key so I grabbed his bag and followed him inside to the room. It was decent sized for one night and had two single beds… although these beds were practically on top of each other.

_Aren't the employee's supposed to be _discouraging _this kind of behaviour?_

"By the pricking in my thumbs, something wicked this way comes." I quoted.

"Aw, I didn't know you liked Shakespeare!"

"I don't! It's Poe!"

"Oh…"

_Stupid boy._

"It's disgraceful, isn't it?" Fletcher asked looking at the two singles which made a double.

"Move them at least three feet apart."

"There isn't enough space in the whole _room_ to move them three feet."

"Two and a half, my final offer." He sighed and moved to space out the beds. We watched some shows on the crap TV but went to bed and soon it was morning.


	3. Goat Porn and Jizzabelle

I awoke to the sound of my alarm once again. I cracked open my eyelids and saw the sun peeking through my curtains, mocking me with the dawn. I could almost hear the classic sing song... actually I _could _hear the sing song. Coming from my door.

I quickly hopped out of bed and flung the door wide open, and there stood Tanith, grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire cat singing;

_You've got to go to schoo-ool!_

_You've got to go to schoo-ool!_

Over and over, pointing in my face and laughing. My retaliation? Slamming the door in her face.

"Ouch." Came the muffled response.

I threw a glance at the clock I put next to my bed. has to be made illegal for people to be awake at this hour! I suppressed a sob and started at getting ready. At quarter to seven I made my way downstairs, still half asleep mind you, and grabbed some breakfast. Tanith, Ghastly and Skulduggery were all sitting at the table already. Tanith in a pin striped suit that included a skirt – yes I said skirt. Skulduggery and Ghastly both had on their facades, slightly modified to last the day by China.

"Good morning!" They sang.

"Is it?" I mumbled, snatching Tanith's tea away from her and taking a long sip.

"That's my tea!" I placed the now empty mug back on the table.

"Not anymore."

"You are really not a morning person!"

"I don't wanna go to school!" I stomped my foot.

"I'll give you detention so you can spend lunch with me?" Tanith suggested.

"Does that mean I have to be mega bad ass in your class?

"Well, I am sure the kids would be concerned if you walked into my English class and I'm like 'I-know-your-name-but-I'm-gonna-pretend-I-don't-know-your-name-and-give-you-a-detention!"

"_Yeah, _I don't think that'd work out."

"I don't think so either." She shook her head remorsefully.

"Hey, listen there's this girl. Her name's Isabelle, been giving me real trouble. All I'm saying is she's one of the Royals, and seeing as you can't punch her in the face or send her through a wall like usual, just keep out her way, ok?"

"Yes, Mum." They laughed.

"Ok, well we need to go," Skulduggery said standing up and grabbing a _briefcase, _"But we'll see you in class, ok?"

"Well Tanith will, I won't see you unless I smack some biatch and get sent to you." I said seriously.

"Well, we'll just have to hope that doesn't happen then won't we."

"Hope all you like, there's going to be some kid who gets a bitch slap."

"That Isabelle girl is gonna die." Ghastly said around the paper he was reading.

"We have to go, _now." _Skulduggery said again, and they all filed out of the kitchen.

"See you at fifth, Valkyrie!" I heard Tanith's call before the door slammed shut as they headed off to school. Ugh. Settling down at the table, I poured myself a bowl of cereal, quickly setting back into the routine that was my mornings for twelve years of my life. Once it was time for me to leave, I snatched up the bag Tanith packed for me and headed out to my Impala. Of course, I had my music blaring at a level that should have laws against it, but that's the way I like my music. Loud.

Following the directions Skulduggery gave me I pulled into the car park – oops, _parking lot – _and pulled into a free space as far away from the cliques of kids loitering around the building's entrance.

_I do not like children younger than me. Because they think they are older than me and that they know more and they are wrong. Plus, they are midgets. _

Instead of mingling with the throngs of lanky, spotty teenagers, I stood by my car leaning against it in the stance Fletcher often called the 'don't touch me, I'm badass' look. Oh yeah I make it work.

I noticed that the group over by a cluster of benches and bins/_trash cans/_ were eyeing my car openly. Some were raking their eyes over it distastefully, idiots, and others were clearly recognising a classic Chevy that I spent a stupid amount of money on fixing it. Clever people. Even though it was obvious that these people were the _Royals._ The it. The in crowd. The kings and queens of the social community. Clearly though, the Royals here are a little different to the Royals I'm used to back in Ireland. Here the guys are huge, actually good looking, frustratingly arrogant and just plain annoying. Now the _girls, _well, they have enough money to spend about as much on make up as I did my car, and plaster it on their faces in the attempt to make themselves appear much more attractive than they really are. When at home... the guys are just funny and the girls are in top set for frigging everything and are the ones that are so bitchy that no one notices and they just think they're amazing. Unless you were as low on the social food chain as I once was.

"Nice car."

The voice came from my right. The guy was tall, dark hair, brown eyes and was dressed like a Royal... not surprisingly, he was a Royal.

_See? I have skills. _

"Please don't touch her." I smiled sweetly.

"Wouldn't dream of messing with the paint work... 67, right?"

"Oh yes."

"How much it cost you?"

"She cost me the world."

He held his hand out. "Name's Lake." I took his hand in mine and shook it.

"Valkyrie."

"And I thought _I _was the only one with a weird name here."

_Wait til you meet Fletcher._

"Anyway, you're Irish right?"

"No, I speak like this because it's fun."

"You're really sarcastic."

"It's a blessing and a curse."

"So what are you doing here?"

_Stalking some kids in the hope of saving their sorry asses._

"This is a school." I nodded slowly. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"_Yeah, _I have noticed."

"Then that's why I'm here... for an _education." _He gave me a look that said – stop with the crap.

"Ok, I was forced to go here. As if I'd willingly leave my home where I _really _don't have to do anything."

_Other than chase down evil Gods, run from half a dozen people trying to kill me, and try to evade my vampire stalker._

Oh the fun.

"Ok... hey, listen, do you need, like, a guide or something? Because you're new here and... it's your first day aaaaaaand..." this is so awkward "have you met my sister?"

"You are the first person to notice me." But of course he didn't hear me when he was screaming;

"SIAN! GET OVER HERE NOW I WANNA INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEBODY!" Boy can shout. I'll give him that.

Sian, or who I presume Sian to be, stalked over from where she was once standing undisturbed at the Royals' current grazing spot. She was tall, almost the same height as me, with bottle blond hair that obviously went wrong as her roots looked _green. _She was wearing some skinny jeans, Ugg boots, and, surprisingly, a hoody. But it wasn't super baggy and a comfort clothing like mine, it was tight and had no pockets. Disgraceful!

She walked over and linked arms with her brother. "T'sup?"

"This is Valkyrie." Lake nodded in my direction. I gave a little wave when her gaze was turned to me and my car.

"Ah. The new girl."

"That would be me."

"How you holding up?"

"No idea, only been here five minutes." I shrugged.

"Well, if you wanna hang out with us, you know where to find us."

"By the bins."

Ah yes, I threw her off. She looked over to where her posse were loitering around the piles of rotting debris. Yummy.

"Yes... well... we won't be there for lunch. I can assure you. Come find us, ok?"

"Erm," I said, "I'm more of a social reject _really." _

"Well I'm sure we can fix all that, what do you have first?" Just then the bell rang and hell had officially arrived. I sighed and moved away from my car and headed towards the building, flanked on either side by Sian and Lake. Goody.

~X~X~

"Hurry the frig _up!" _I yelled at Fletcher as he tried to keep up as we all charged over buildings in the chase of Davina Marr.

"I'm hurrying! Running just isn't my thing!" he yelled back.

"I think we'd already established that when we practically left you behind back there!"Tanith swatted him round the head and we continued running.

"She's dropped!" we all leaped down off the three story block we were on and found our troublemaker in a darkened alleyway. She stood in a puddle and she stumbled into a bin, and then into the wall, and then into the chain link fence that blocked her from escaping.

"Ouch!" she fell and landed in the puddle.

"Ahem." Skulduggery 'coughed' into his fist.

"Ahh!" she span around on her butt and looked up at us, slightly red in the face from our little run.

Skulduggery waved, "Hello."

"Gah! It's you! The little happy family!"

"Now, now," Ghastly said, "If we were a family then that would just be _weird."_

"Yeah," Fletcher chortled, "Weird." We all turned to stare at him. "What?"

"Did you just _chortle?" _I asked incredulously.

"Sounded more like a snigger to me." Tanith said.

"I did not snigger!"

"Can I just say something?" Davina said.

"What?"

"Not that I'm complaining, but, shouldn't you be arresting me, or in the very least beating me up?"

"Not right now, we are determining if Fletcher chortled or sniggered." I said.

"Oh, ok. Shall I just sit here?"

"Yes."

So we bickered over whether Fletcher had chortled or sniggered when...

"Ha ha haaa! You didn't expect me to be here did you? Quiver in fear when you bear witness to..."

"Erm... who the hell are you?"

A small man in a top hat and a suit was standing in the puddle next to Marr.

"Oh, erm... my name is the Magnificent Lucifer! I am a magician! Are you scared?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Not even a little bit?"

"Not in the least, you're standing in a puddle."

"Gah!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Ah, miss Cain, the question is not what I am doing here, but what I am _not _doing here!" and he snapped his fingers, a cloud of smoke puffed up into the air and when it cleared, both he and Marr, were gone.

"We just got outdone by a midget magician!" Fletcher exclaimed.

"Uhg, let's go get a take out." Ghastly grumbled and we all grunted our agreement and so we did.

And sitting at the table that is how conversation turned to my first day at school.

"So... how was your day when you weren't in my lesson, Val?" Tanith asked, practically inhaling her chicken chow mein.

"_Uuuhhggg! _Do you remember you told me about that Isabelle girl? God, she wouldn't shut _up!_ She kept calling me a leprechaun. And kept asking me stupid questions, like; can I grant her three wishes? If she kicks me, will she have bad luck for seven years? Can I do magic, well. I laughed in her face for that one but _seriously! _Girl needs to learn how to be quiet._"_

"And I also heard there was a confrontation between you and her in last period?" Ghastly inquired.

"Cat fight?" Fletcher immediately perked up in his seat.

"What happened?" Skulduggery sighed.

"Well..."

_**FLASHBACK TIME! WHOOAAA!**_

I walked into my last lesson of the day, Biology, and was greeted with; "Oh look! It's the leprechaun!"

_Ggrrrr!_

Sniggers echoed around the room at Isabelle's comment. Why anybody listened to a word she said was beyond me. She dressed like it was thirty million degree's outside but not like she was evading overheating. No, it seems that her aim is to look at plastic and as bare skinned as possible. And I dunnno what it is on the corner of her mouth but I'm damn sure it ain't tooth paste!

The guy who was teaching the class, I have nooooo idea what his name was I wasn't paying any attention, sat me on the left hand side of the classroom sort of in the middle. And throughout the whole lesson, little comments about Ireland or about my accent or _something _would spring free of Isabelle huge gob. Until I got very, very mad.

"OH WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST _JIZZABELLE? _Oh my _days! _Can you not keep your mouth shut for five seconds? Although apparently not with that stain on your lip." Her hand flew to her mouth. "Yep, that's right, you've been walking around all day with what looks like an explosion in a tooth paste factory around your chops and you have the nerve to mock _me? _God's gift you call yourself? PAH! I can tell you now that you are _not _God's gift, but rather a mix and match of His lost and found boxes that he 'accidentally' kicked down here, _blessing _us with your presence. And I hate to think what kind of music you listen to. Do you even listen to music?"

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't, you listen to porn."

"No I don't!"

"Yeah you do. What's your preference? Male or female?"

"I don't listen to porn!" by now the whole class was giggling.

"Yeah, you're right... You listen to Goat porn, don't you?"

"_**WHAT?" **_

"Yeah, you listen you Goat porn. Baaaaa does that turn you on?"

"NO!"

"Yes it does. Baaaa! Isabeeeeeeeellllleeee! Baaaa!"

"Stop it!"

"Admit that it turns you on!"

"No!"

"Baaaa!"

"Shut up!"

"Say it! Baaaa!"

"GOAT PORN TURNS ME ON!"

"I think my brain just stalled."

"What?"

"Jizzy, I was just messing with you. I didn't know that you really listened to Goat porn."

"I don't!"

"But you just said you did!"

_Silence..._

"Hahahaha! I'm going to call you Jizzy from now on!"

And then the bell rang.

"Bye bye, Jizzy!"

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT WAHEEEEEY!**_

"It was SO worth it. Just like when you wait weeks and weeks in the winter for snow, and when it falls, it hypnotises you... until one lands in your eye and then there's the whole chorus of MY EYE! That's how it is with snow. Them flakes have sharp edges and pointy points... kind of like a goat." I mumbled. Silence filled the room as they all gaped at me with incredulous looks upon their faces.

"Hahahaha!" Tanith placed both hands on the table and leant forward as she laughed... and laughed... and _laughed._

"Tanith you are _such _a bad influence on her!" Ghastly said, and lightly whacked Tanith upside the head.


	4. Xenophobia

**Before anybody winges, yes, this is slightly later than i would have liked. Tough! I've been doing options and all that crap and they made me do a Science SAT that was HARD! So hush. This one, i guess, is a little shorter... i dunno i don't keep track of how many words are in each chapter, I would like to ask that you do review my chapters, because, fluff it's hard especially with writers block and homework. Even if it's just a little 'nice' or 'well done' that'll be fine! But whatever's good with you. And if you're not careful, i'll start demanding them in ransom for more chapters like the bratty child i am **

**ENJOY! XD XD XD **

**Monster! Xx**

_**FPOV**_

_I HATE SCHOOL SO DANG MUCH!_

I mean, my day couldn't have started out any more crap than it had; first, there was a huge argument that involved the whole bunch of us, over how much room in the bathroom I was allowed to take up with my hair products. Then Valkyrie used all the milk so I had to have toast. _Toast. _I'm a growing boy! I need more than toast in a morning! Although… to be fair I did eat the whole loaf… hence the reason I was slightly later then Val.

Honestly? I would much rather watch Caelan dribble over _my _Valkyrie that be dribbled _on _all day. I had arrived promptly on my brand-new-three-hour-ago-buy-Harley and immediately all eyes were on me. I located Valkyrie exiting her Impala from across the car park – _whoops my bad parking lot –_ andshe quickly made her way over to a small group of people by the entrance, not once looking in my direction.

_Everybody else is though... CRAP! _

I leant against my bike and absentmindedly fiddled with my amazing hair. I silently watched as Valkyrie turned, waved slightly at me, before walking inside, a girl with about thirty different colours in her hair at her side.

_Are there thirty different colours?_

_Fluff if I know, the only thing to do with hair I know about is gel._

_I love my gel._

"Hey, crazy hair guy, do you know that girl?" A tall guy with dark hair was standing next to me, indicating to where Valkyrie had just been standing.

_Back off, matey._

"What if I do?"

"Is she taken?"

_Yes! I claim her! She's mine! Go screw yourself! Stay awaaaaaay from my girl!_

"No." I mumbled.

_You, my friend, are a douche._

"Well then, time for me to make my move." He rubbed his hands together and wiggled his eye brows suggestively at me, before starting to move away.

_Oh hell no!_

I grabbed his collar and yanked him back before he could get too far away. "Can I just ask?" I slammed him against the nearest car. "Who the _hell _are you? Staking a claim on my friend like that?"

"Hey, man, I thought you said you didn't know her!"

"I said she wasn't taken, but that doesn't mean you can swoop down like a freaking hawk on a girl you don't deserve." I growled.

"Ok! Geez, step off!" he shoved me in the stomach and was met with my rock solid abs. yeah, I run like a chicken and about as fast as one with one leg, but Val kept yelling at me whenever she beat me at sparring.

Not wanting another kafuffle, I moved away from him. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Fletcher Renn. You?"

"Lake River."

"That's the crappyest name I've ever heard."

_And that's saying a lot, Skulduggery Pleasant. PAH! He's a pain in my arse!_

"Says you Mr. Renn, what kind of a name is Fletcher anyway? Were your parents pissed?"

I narrowed my eyes into tiny slits at the annoying boy. "Please leave now." He shook his head before rejoining his group of friends who were gathering like cattle around the benches. But, just as he left, another student walked up to me. She was tall, with greenish looking blond hair… so it wasn't really blond but details, details! She was wearing a mini skirt with multi-coloured tights on and a The Wanted tee shirt on. "Well _hello._" She purred, walking up to me with confidence that scared the crap out of me.

_Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwww! _

"What's your name?" she leaned in close to me. I moved back four paces.

"Erm… Fletcher… you?"

_Do not touch her. She is probably teeming with disgusting things like lice, germs, and makeup. _

"My name's Sian. Sian River."

"Oh… wow… I met your brother… he's…" _a stupid dick _"nice. Look, I gotta go bye!"

To say I ran is an understatement.

First period, I left the classroom thoroughly disturbed. It seems that the females of this school have not had any…_ fresh meat _in a while. I'm the fresh meat. And the lions are hungry. That's why when I left first period I had seven lunch invitations and a suspicious wet patch on my shoulder. I have my suspicions that it is, indeed, dribble.

Thankfully though, the rest of my classes include Valkyrie, and I'll be dammed if I'm gonna sit next to anyone else!

As Valkyrie and I strode into the English classroom at last period, all eyes turned to us. As we walked down the middle of the desks to the back row, Lake stood from his chair and planted himself firmly in front of us.

"Hey, Val." He grinned at her. Crazy girl grinned back.

"Hey, Lake. Have you met Fletcher?" crazy guy looked my up and down

_Yeah. Look at what you can't compare to. _

"Yeah, we've met before."

"Oh great! So… erm… me and Fletch are just gonna sit down." She hinted subtly that he should move his ass.

"Ok."

He didn't move.

"Lake you need to move out the way." She motioned with her hands.

"Maybe I wanna keep talking to you? Why doesn't _Fletch _go sit down?"

"Why don't you listen to what you're being told to do?" I snarled back.

"Come on then, ass wipe, why don't make me?"

"You want me to come over there and do it?"

"Gentlemen!"

We all turned to see a very angry/concerned looking Tanith standing with her hands on her hips like a disapproving mother. "Is there a problem here?"

"Nope. Aside from this asshole that won't move." She raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Mr. River, I suggest you take your seat and do not disturb this lesson again, understood?"

He nodded and sat in his chair. Valkyrie and I walked over to her double desk at the back of the room and sat down.

Tanith sent me a supportive and knowing smile from the front of the room before beginning her lecture on punctuation. And how it 'saves lives'.

Meaning if Tanith finds a ransom note where your grammar is atrocious, and you have no commas or full stops. I'm not even kidding but she will hunt you down and kill you.

_**VPOV.**_

Douche bag!

I cannot believe that Lake would pick a fight with Fletcher like that! I have _never _seen Fletcher mad before. Ever. And Lake just really seemed to piss him off. I turned to look at him, where he was sitting to my right.

"You ok?" I whispered, not wanting to interrupt Tanith's rant on if we get grammar wrong, we'll see her after school.

_But I already do! _

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered shortly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, Val." She smiled and put his arm on the back of my chair, around my shoulders.

Natural instinct was to shove his arm off, but, because it was Fletcher, I let him keep it there.

It made me feel safe, too.


	5. Men and Their Little Minds x

**Ahh, hello nerdies, =) sorry this is late like... really late. But shizzle's gone dooowwwnnn... and i almost lost this chapter, but smarty pants me has been sending the chapters when completed to Tatty201, and she still had it in her inbox :D sorted. And just so you know, i have been working on chapter 7, and now it's like, 2,000 words long. SO YOU BETTER BE HAPPY. **

**And dudes, can i get some reviews? Don't make me go all Eternal Scene on your asses and demand reviews like a spoilt child... ;) (hehehehehe you know who its aimed at)**

**So BLERGH! And enjoy, also, has anyone seen the new Judas video? If you have, answer this question, what is the video based on? How are Judas, Jesus and Lady all connected? Tell me in a review and if you get it right... yay.**

**I can so see no one actually doing that now but WHO CARES? JUDAS BABY! **

**Monster xx**

__**VPOV**

_Just punch her. You know you want to. Right in the face. Then she'll need another nose job!_

"…And then he asked me out but I was just like ew, no way but he just kept on nagging and nagging…"

_He nagged and he nagged? I though the asshole liked me!_

"…so obviously after a while I just _had _to say yes, I mean, the poor guy was gonna kill himself if I didn't, pathetic really. But its clear that he's madly in love with me and that no other girl in this school compares to my beauty…"

_No other girl quite compares to your beauty? I can tell you where to stick your beauty…_

"Val? Are you even listening to a single thing I'm saying?" she waved a hand in front of my face. I slapped at the hand that was dancing in front of my eyes and huffed, stalking away from her before I knocked her lights out. "Hey, Val! Where are you going?" she called after me, but luckily for her face, she stayed where she was.

I walked purposefully into the business studies classroom and took my seat near the back.

I sat in the silent, empty room content, until the bell rang and throngs of students piled into the room. It was pretty clear whenever Lake walked into a room. His ego could be seen a mile away and seemed to part the pupils with its stupid size.

He walked over to me and out his stupid coat on the back of the chair next to me.

"This seat taken?"

_Would've been if Fletcher wasn't being an ass…_

"Nah, sit your ass down."

He grinning and sat down, turning to face me. _Here it comes._

"So… where's Fletcher? Taken another class? Had a fall out?" he wiggled his eye brows "Caught him with another girl?"

_Yeah… your fucking sister. He's a lying ass hole who needs to grow up because, I guess I was starting to like him and it turns out that he wasn't interested in me at all and now it feels like I'm crushed._

Instead, I said:

"I guess he's just running late."

"Uh-huh…" he said, clearly knowing that that wasn't the whole story.

Just then, said stupid boy with stupid hair and stupid clothes walked in with stupid girl at his side. They're stupid. He saw me sat with Lake and seemed to falter slightly, especially when Lake slung his arm around my shoulder. And I made no move to shove it off.

Sian took his arm and led him over to a desk she had claimed and when he sat down, moved so close she was practically sitting in his lap. I sighed and focused on the lecture that the teacher had just started.

After that pretty much every lesson was accompanied with a huge elephant of awkwardness in the room. We didn't talk. We barely even looked at each other throughout the whole morning. By lunchtime it was like we'd never met each other. Although I'd often catch him looking my way.

The chair next to me scraped across the floor, Lake plonked down on it with a sigh. "Sian's going on a date with Fletcher. Did you know this?"

I grunted in response, clearly telling him not to talk to me. He clearly didn't get the message.

"Why didn't you tell me? This is my sister! She's going out with _that mutt _you call a friend. I mean come on, anybody who spends that much time and effort on their hair _has _to be gay (**A.N no offense to any Gay's reading this! I'm not stereotyping! Please don't get mad! Xx**)." I shot an astounded look in his direction. Had he not looked in a mirror? His hair was immaculate!

"Are you being serious?"

"Yeah!"

_I'm too lazy and pissed off to be arguing…_

"Whatever, live in your tiny little box world."

"What?"

_Men and their little minds._

"Hey, Val, listen. Seeing as your friend and my sister seem to be getting rather close... why don't we follow their lead...?" he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" I laughed.

"Nah, forget the foreplay, just come over to my house tonight and I can make you happier than Fletcher ever did."

_I think I just threw up a little in my mouth..._

"No." I turned away from him and went back to reading the copy of The Woman in Black for Tanith. It's really boring and I've already seen the film any way. Can I just ask? When she appears in Arthur's room, what is she doing with her _arms?_

"Aw, come on! We have such a connection! And don't think I can't see the way you look at me." He threw me a wink.

"What? The look of complete disgust? Oh wait, if you can't recognise it, I'm doing it now."

"No way babe, that's a look of _lust._"

_Somebody drag this boy away before I castrate him._

"Lust. Yeah. Right. Listen oh jeez its getting on and i don't want to be late for class and-"

"Lunch started ten minutes ago."

"Oh how time stands still when you're with an annoying boy..." I muttered under my breath.

"C'mon, just one date. Then we'll see how it goes and go from there. Please?"

_Why do boys whine?_

_It's because they're the lesser of the species,_

_Who did you come to that conclusion, oh great and noble inner voice?_

_Fletcher._

_Point proven._

"I dunno..."

"Please...?" he looked at me with hopeful eyes.

_WE COULD MAKE FLETCHER JEALOUS!_

_We? I'm sorry, but you do not count as a single entity, there is just me. No us!_

_Fine... YOU COULD MAKE FLETCHER JEALOUS!_

_Ooh! What a brilliant idea inner voice!_

"Uh, where were you thinking of taking me?" I asked and flicked my hair over my shoulder.

(~*~)

_**FPOV**_

He was touching her hair. Her long, dark, luscious _hair._

They were stood next to the Impala laughing, talking, flirting. He was practically drooling over her and she said or did nothing to stop him.

I saw red.

I stalked over to them, my steps heavy and determined. I was close enough to hear them talking when Lake looked up.

"I'll call you tonight?" he asked. Valkyrie nodded. He grinned and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before kissing her cheek and walking away. But not before giving me a smug smile.

_Asshole._

I walked over to where Valkyrie was leaning against her baby and stood right in front of her.

"World so small you have to take up my room, Space Invader?" she glanced up at me through her long eyelashes.

"What the hell was that?" I fumed.

"Ignoring my question?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Well then, that was my date for this weekend."

"You have a date for this weekend?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, is that so hard to believe?"

_No. But you should be going on a date with me. Not that prick._

"Why are you going on a date with Lake?"

"The same reason you're going out with Sian this weekend."

_To make you jealous? Can you get jealous of yourself?_

_I do. I'm jealous of my amazingly good looks and charm._

_And my hair, of course._

"Oh... well... I guess I'll just leave you to it then."

"Wait, what?"

"Huh?"

"Aren't you gonna at least yell? Make a scene? You like me don't you?"

_Shit!_

"Are you seriously just gonna stand by while I go on a date with that loser?"

_Run! Before she castrates you!_

"I, uh, don't know what you're talking about..." I mumbled.

"So you don't like me?" she lowered her voice and looked kinda deflated.

"Uh, no."

_What are you doing? Say yes! Kiss her! Skip of into the sunset!_

"Oh..." she looked down at her feet and I saw the tips of her ears slowly burn a deep crimson.

_You just humiliated her. Well done. Well done you._

Just then, her head snapped up, and she had a new look of dignity and pride about her.

"Well then, Fletcher. I will see you at home. I apologize for yelling at you, but it seems I got the wrong idea." And with that she yanked open the driver's side door of the Impala and clambered in. The engine roared into life and I had to leap back in order not to get run over by the huge beast.

I turned around and noticed that we had attracted a large crowd in our quick heated discussion.

I shooed them all aside and hopped onto my Harley. Tugging on the helmet and gave one last glance in Lake's direction and saw him talking to Sian and another girl. One I didn't recognize.

But hey, ho, I thought. Not my problem now, my problem is the pissed off young adult female I have waiting for me at home. And with that I tore out of the parking lot at a dangerous speed and made my way home, all the while cursing my stupidity.


	6. Caraphernelia

**This is the chapter that was meant to be posted… ma bad :$ Apology still stands, though I've been forgiven by Amy now XD good times, hope you like it. Review, because I fucking slave over these and it's a smack in the face. **

**Really kinda angry Monster. **

_**VPOV**_

_I'm such an idiot!_

I can't believe that I thought for even a second that Fletcher felt that way about me. Really though? Why would he?

I'm sarcastic, I'm loud, I don't really care about other people, and I beat up other men for a living! Why would he want to get with that?

He wouldn't. I see it now, I was young and stupid and I thought I understood his actions. Clearly not.

The Impala skidded to a stop in front of our huge house, and I slammed the door shut, taking out my rage on my baby. I leaped onto the front porch and threw the door open, not bothering to say Hi to Skulduggery, who was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper.

Now, I know I'm very against the image of all teenage/young adult girls doing silly things like writing in frilly pink diaries, and always talking to their Mothers about their girlie problems, and running up to their room and crying into their pillows when times get hard... but that's exactly what I did. I stormed up the stairs and smashed the door aside to leap on my huge double bed and cried my eyes out.

I'm not sure how long I lay there, but when I lifted my head, darkness was seeping through my window, and Lost In Stereo was blaring from behind Fletcher's door.

_She's dancin' alone, _

_I'm ready to go but she's so,_

_Lost in stereo!_

_Lost in stereo!_

_She's outta control, _

_So beautiful, _

_Lost in stereo!_

_Lost in stereo!_

Sighing to myself, I rolled off the bed and checked myself in the mirror, to see if any traces of the tears were left behind.

Hideous streaky lines were disgustingly obvious on my puffy cheeks. Sighing with annoyance, I reached across the sink to grab a flannel and washed my face with warm water in a futile attempt to get rid of the splotchy marks across my skin.

I threw the damp towel in the wash basket and inspected my work. I looked like a damp puppy. I huffed at my reflection and left the bathroom, flicking off the light and grabbing one of my overly large hoodies and headed downstairs.

Then kitchen went silent when I entered. All movement and talking ceased and the elephant in the room grew to outstanding proportions. I sat at the table and reached for the lasagne that was cooling in the middle and helped myself, not bothering with a fork or plate, just using the big spoon already in the dish as a utensil.

"Where've you been, Valkyrie?" Ghastly asked, looking up wearily from his paper.

"Sleeping." I grunted between huge mouthfuls of lasagne. I was starving!

"You were sleeping?" he asked sceptically.

"Yes." Mouthful.

"But you _never _sleep."

"Evidently, I needed to catch up on that lost sleeping-ness."

"Are you sure you're feeling ok?"

"Absolutely buzzing, are we done with this interrogation?" I snapped, dropping the spoon into the dish with a _clank!_

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Ghastly looked to Skulduggery for support. Skulduggery looked on.

"Good." I pushed the dish back into the middle of the table, got up, and left.

But not alone.

"Valkyrie!" Tanith followed me up the stairs. I increased my pace, as I would if fleeing from a foe in combat. I continued up the stairs, not looking back at the girl who was practically my sister.

"Come here!" She huffed from behind me as I speedily jumped over still unpacked boxes and suitcases.

"No!" I called back over my shoulder. As I reached my room, Tanith had caught up with me. I was yanked back violently when she grabbed onto my hood. I struggled to pull away from her, but _fuck _she was strong. "Get off!" I huffed.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

"There's nothing wrong!"

"Yes there is!" by this point, I was clearly just grasping at straws.

"_PMS!" _

_See?_

"You're not PMSing, don't be stupid."

"But I have no other believable excuse!" I huffed, still trying to escape her clutches.

"Just tell me what's wrong! Please!" and then she hit me with those Goddamn puppy eyes.

"Please? Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty pwease?" she fluttered her eye lashed and her bottom lip trembled, as if she were about to break down in a flood of tears. She broke me.

"Fine!" I huffed and grabbed her arm, leading her into my bedroom. I shoved her inside and slammed the door shut, not looking at her for a moment so that I could compose myself enough not to burst into hysterical tears.

"I was so very, very, wrong about the way Fletcher felt about me." I shook my head.

"What?" She said from behind me, I heard a shuffling and then felt her hand on my arm.

"He doesn't like me." My voice trembled.

"Are you sure, Honey?"

"Positive." And then the tears came. Tanith turned me and pulled me close to her, letting me cry on her shoulder as she sat us on my bed.

"Honey you don't need him..."

"I may not need him," I whimpered, "But fuck do I want him."

"Oh, sweetie." She cooed and stroked my hair as I cried.

It wasn't long before sleep got its dirty mittens on me and I was forced into a reckless slumber.

The next day, at that goddamn school, we avoided each other like the plague. We arrived at different times and went our separate ways. I didn't go with Sian... the stupid whore... No, I headed in the direction of the 'social outcasts' or the weird kids. I should have been hanging out with them anyway, but the reason I was going to them, was because there a girl from my art class hung out with them. Her name was Bonnie, and screw me from all sides and send me to Texas she can _draw. _I mean, I'm a pretty good drawer, but I could never live up to her freakishly good standards. People who can draw so well have to be arrested. I have spoken.

But anyway, I approached her with a confident stride. When I arrived that the bench where she sat, she looked up and shielded her eyes from the morning sun with her hand. Those eyes then widened in surprise when she registered that it was me who was standing in front of her.

"Val... oh, hey."

"Hi..." Cue the awkward turtle that never came.

"Why aren't you hanging out with the Royals?"

"Oh, let's just say they were all two faced bitches." I smiled sweetly.

"Well, I'm glad to see you've had your sight returned to you. We've known that all along, you know."

Yeah, they were weird, but hey, who the hell wants to be normal? Overrated much...

"Yeah... so I thought I'd come and hang out with you guys."

"Well what about that Fletcher dude you're always on about?"

I raised my eyebrow and smiled lightly at her, "You tryin' to get rid of me?"

She laughed "Oh, no, no, no. I was just, y'know, curious." I laughed with her and sat down on the bench.

"Well I'm not talking to him, right now. Misunderstanding, is all."

"Right... so, what's up?"

"Oh not much really..." We shared idle chit-chat until the warning bell for first period had sounded, and when it did we parted ways, but promising to meet up during free period and lunch. During the lessons, it was awkward, quiet, hostile, and just plain frustrating. Even when Fletcher and I _needed _to talk, we wouldn't, and would you? No.

Anyway, the day dragged on in its draggy awkwardness all the way to last period, when we had English, and Tanith was _pissed_.

"Alright sit your freaking asses down and shut the hell up." She snapped, tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. "I'm not gonna deal with your rubbish today, Isabelle, so you can just move to the back."

"What?"

"You heard me, problem child! To the back!" She pointed and huffed. Jizzy grabbed her pad and pen and dragged her slutty butt to the back of the room, where this sleazy, snotty nerd immediately began to hyperventilate at the sight of her barely clad body. Ew.

"Right!" Tanith threw – yes threw – a pen across the room. "Onto Romeo and Juliet, in the original play version, it is the Capulets who start the fight in Act One Scene One, but in Baz Luhrmann's film adaptation, it is the other way around. To be perfectly honest, right now I can't remember, but I'm sure it'll come back to me by next lesson, now, watch the bloody film." She pointed the remote and when the screen turned on, she threw that down too, before slumping into her desk chair.

Fletcher and I shared a look of worry, automatically, before quickly looking away again.

_Pfft, like he even cares about Tanith._

_Dick doesn't care about me. Clearly. _

As the film wore on, and Juliet's mother said (in my opinion) the most moving line ever – Juliet, _**BLEERGH!**_ – the tense silence between us became almost unbearable.

But that problem was solved when slutty Jizzy decided to take a walk down the class room, and try to show off her loo-roll cleavage to Fletcher...

Not that I cared.

_Even though you do..._

Anyway, Jizzy was all bending over and practically falling out of her top, and Fletcher was shifting uncomfortably... What the frigg else was I gonna do?

Throw the contents of my water bottle down her top. That's what.

"_Ahhh!" _She screamed. "Oh my _God!" _She flapped her hands in front of her chest like that was going to do anything.

Fletcher had jumped up from his seat and made a sound that resembled Juliet's mother in the film.

Tanith looked over from her desk, and sighed in irritation. She took her feet down from her desk and strolled purposefully toward us. "Right! What's going on over here!"

_I swear she's getting too into the role of English Teacher... jeez, lighten up._

"She just threw water all over me!"

_Actually... it was forest fruits quash, but _you know best!

"Valkyrie..." Tanith chastised me. And I felt guilty... for about a second.

"The whore was practically falling out of her shirt!"

"It doesn't give you the right to humiliate her!"

"She was humiliating herself when she walked into school looking like she'd been screwed from behind by Godzilla."

Someone from the back laughed and another hooted.

"Valkyrie, I think you need to watch what you're saying."

"I think she needs to watch what she's putting inside her, I mean c'mon. She's a herpes pandemic just waiting to break out."

"Valkyrie!" Fletcher said.

"Now, Val..." Tanith started.

"No!" I cut her off, "The stupid whore has been trying to get into Fletcher's boxers from day one, just because she knows that all the boys around here are dull enough to shag anything that moves, does not mean she can add him to her list of conquests. I'm not going to sit next to him get a bit happy in an English lesson, and not do anything about it."

Silence.

"And people do say that cold water is good for downing a hard on."

Everybody was staring at me, and Jizzy was hoping around trying to take her top off, but at the same time not, because God knows if she did, she'd be swaying in the breeze.

_Whore. _

"Valkyrie..." Fletcher started.

"Whaaat?" I whined, turning to face him. He looked like a startled beetle.

"Do... Do you really think I would find _that,_" he pointed at the flapping Jizzy "Appealing in any way?"

I remained silent, not really wanting to reply. "Because if you do," He continued, "Then clearly don't know me as well as I thought you did."

"You know I find myself thinking the same thing." I spat back at him.

"What?"

"Do you not think I was surprised and a little bit upset yesterday?"

"This has to do with _yesterday?_"

"Everything has to do with yesterday!" I threw up my hands in frustration and got out of my chair, so did he. I tried to leave, but he blocked me.

"Do you want to talk to me? Or are you just going to be some stupid little girl who hides away everything that's going on in her head until she snaps at somebody who doesn't deserve it?"

_Smack!_

The sound of my palm connecting with his left cheek was deafening in the silent room. It was a liberating feeling, to smack him, but when he looked at me, his cheek red, I felt a painful twinge in my chest. I shook it off.

"Doesn't deserve it? Fletcher, since we got here, you've been a prick. Okay? A prick, so anything you've got coming, you deserve."

"Especially if it's a punch off me, her boyfriend." Lake stood up then, pushing out his chest, trying to make himself taller.

"Oh, shut up you stupid little boy this _really _doesn't concern you." I sighed.

"Yeah, back off, Lakey." Fletcher puffed out his chest too.

_MEN! AARG!_

"Fletcher, you're just jealous, because she likes me more than you."

"Oh yeah? How about now?"

_Boom!_

Fletcher's fist collided smack at Lake's nose.

Blood – everywhere.

Screaming – Lake, Jizzy, girls because blood got on their designer shit.

Hissing – Fletcher. Lake has a thick head.

"Alright, fucking dick-" Lake launched himself at Fletcher and a freaking brawl started out right in the middle of English.

Two boys fighting over me, should be hot, right?

_Wrong._

Turns out, Lake can't throw a punch for his life, and Fletcher was doing his best _not _to beat the absolute shit out of him. Because he could do it.

Shame he was failing miserably.

"Okay, okay, enough before I kick, _both _your asses." Tanith got herself between the two boys, and they immediately quit fighting because, what kind of man hits a girl? Tanith sighed and grabbed both of them by an ear.

Multiple 'ow!'s chorused from both of them as she dragged them from the room. "You too, Valkyrie!" she called as she went.

_Who the fuck doesn't love school?_

**You got a long one. So don't moan. Review. Blergh. Xx**

**Monster lots of scary love!**


	7. Detained and Truths

**Monster, Rawr lovin' I LOVE TATTY SO MUCH SHE'S FUCKING SEXY! I LOVE HER! HER AMAZING LOOKS CONTRIBUTED TO THIS CHAPTER! LOVE HER! I DON'T CARE IF RUMOURS START ABOUT US. YES. WE ARE LESBAINS. IF YOU ARE HOMOPHOBIC, LEAVE! Just watch reviews go down now. Not that I'm GETTING any reviews! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? BACK ONTO TATTY. No, this isn't just a chapter full of me raving about my sexy wife, it's just, with this chapter, LOVE IS IN LE AIR! Ah shit I ruined it. Oh well, you better enjoy it, because it took fluffing time. Tatty says yay. **

**Love yew all, ESPECIALLY SHANNON. (Amy too. But not as much as Sexy Shannon. And Tatty. Especially Tatty.)**

**Enjoy :') **

**xxx**

**VPOV**

"I am ashamed at all three of you. You're supposed to be mature adults and yet you're squabbling over each other like fools. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

We all shuffled our feet in silence, ashamed of the way we'd been behaving.

"Right..." Tanith placed her hands on her hips and gave us all a glare. "Valkyrie and Fletcher, you both have detention today after school. Lake and Sian, tomorrow."

This made me very angry, although I didn't show it; we were here for the sanctuary, not so we could get another shot at education! It was so frustrating! Tanith, Ghastly and even Skulduggery had all lost track of what we were really here for and has gotten in too deep in the normal life. Was I the only one still fighting? It sure felt like it.

And Fletcher! He seemed to think that now we were attending a school, he could become a Royal himself! PRICK!

I just can't understand how they all lost focus so badly, I mean, come on! Davina Mar is at large! Does no one else care that she could be cause a shitload of trouble in this city and I'm stuck doing _homework? I am almost twenty years old for Christ's sake!_

I wasn't a happy bunny.

And I _still _wasn't a happy bunny at half three being kept back for a detention _that I shouldn't even be having!_

You known when they say, how time flies when you're having fun, and the opposite happens when you're dreading something? What the hell about if you're bored out of your freaking mind? What then? I'll tell you what. The clock about the effing door? Hasn't moved from the half three position in for_ever. _And what's worse, is having a song stuck in my head that I can't even remember all the lyrics to.

_Wake you up in the middle of the night, _

_To say I will never walk away again, _

_I'm never gonna leave this bed, _

_Well you say 'No! It isn't working', _

_And I say 'No! It isn't perfect' so I stay instead, _

_I'm never gonna leave this bed. _

*Smashed head against the desk repeatedly* Fletcher? Oh he was fine. With his bag of gummie bears and cola bottles and his iPod that no one seems to notice. I can't listen to my iPod. _Because he stole mine!_

Poooooor Valkyrie. I know. I'm whining. But you would be too so _hush._

Anyway, so Tanith gave us these silly detentions, and we were attending. And Tanith isn't even here. She's with the Janitor.

Ghastly. It's vile. Really. But, moving onto other things, it was just really, really, _really _boring, so I got up and started rooting through Tanith's desk. The desk was waist height and made of Oak. In the top draw were CD's by A Day To Remember, All Time Low and Paramore. I flicked through before dumping them on the desk, then rifling through the papers. In the second draw I found a _head_, a very ugly head, and a Thesaurus…

"What are you doing?" Fletcher asked from his desk, he had the left earphone in his had and he looked rather confuzzled.

"Non of your 3D haired business."

"That makes no sense." He sighed.

"Your face makes no sense."

"Stop being ridiculous."

"Stop being a Terrapin."

"A what?"

"You heard me, you Terrapin."

"The fuck is a Terrapin?"

"It's like a long necked turtle."

"I'm not a long necked turtle."

"You got something _against _long necked turtles, Mr. Renn?"

"No, but if I'm a Terrapin, then you're Scylla."

I stared at him.

"What? What's that? Wait, no, lemme check." I quickly grabbed the thesaurus and flicked through until I found Scylla.

"'A mythological Greek sea serpent who eats people from ships who tried to navigate between her cave and the whirlpool Charybdis?'" I asked, disbelievingly.

"… Yes."

"Screw you."

"No, go sulk elsewhere."

"Why don't you go back to your gaggle of Royals?"

"What? They're not my friends, Val." He stood up then.

"Well it bloody well seems that way! Have you completely forgotten why we're even here?"

"Of course not!"

"Well everybody else has! When was the last time we went looking for Mar? _Weeks _ago!"

"Val it was last week."

"Same difference! What have we been doing in the mean time? Getting an education? We don't need it! You've all become too accustomed to this life; somebody needs to wake you all up."

I folded my arms and leaned back against the desk.

"Val," he stood in front of me "Clearly, you're just getting a little frustrated about the situation, maybe you should take a break?"  
"What like everybody else is doing? No thanks; I'd like to keep my job."

"You're being ridiculous!"

"You're being _blind!" _By now we were inches apart and screaming in each others faces, tension running hiiiggghhh. "I never wanted to come here! I wanted to stay in Ireland, and stop people like Spring heeled Jack, or Sanguine, not babysitting a bunch of blathering idiots who have barely hit puberty!"

"If you feel that way, why don't you leave?"

"Maybe I will!"

"Fine then!"

"Fine!"

We fell into a heavy pause, with only the sound of our heavy breathing filling the silence.

_If he wants me to go, then I will. _

I pushed past him; his tense body almost toppled to the side, and moved out into the hallway, power walking my way of out hell. I was halfway to my car when I heard a door bang open.

I was spun around gently within the next second and soft lips engulfed mine.

Fletcher crashed his lips to mine and something animalistic erupted in my blood. If felt like I had been kissing for years as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. My hands immediately went into his hair and the taste of gummy bears mixed with his natural taste was interesting to say the least. His lips were the most succulent thing I had ever tasted in my life and I sucked his bottom one gently while he took my top one into his mouth.

He licked my bottom lip softly and I opened my mouth while moaning against the force of our kiss. Our tongues thrashed together and I didn't even think I took a breath the entire time that we stayed connected.

We didn't bother with formalities as our tongues collided in a wicked dance of wetness that I loved. I began scratching his scalp involuntarily as his strong hands massaged my hips. My skin was burning, my ears were ringing, and I was still pretty pissed. But, to be fair, he was a pretty good kisser.

I had to pull back when I couldn't breathe, and when I looked at him, he looked so shy and a pink tint of a blush spread on his cheeks.

"Erm…" He smiled, "Uh, sorry. About… back there… not about what just happened… but what happened, before that."

"Uh… That's okay…" I replied…

It was kinda awkward…

"So… shall we go?" He asked, finally taking his hands off my waist.

"Yeah. You coming in the car with me?"

"Mm, yeah can do. I'll just get Tanith to take my bike seeing as she got here this morning with Ghastly."

"Okay then." I smiled and turned to the Impala but before I could get in, he turned me and kissed me again. He was on a roll. The kiss was softer and less urgent than the one earlier; it sent tingles to my toes and left me breathless. I lightly pushed him off.

"Sorry… again." He hung his head. I laughed lightly.

"It's okay, just let me get into the car and we'll head back home, okay?" He nodded and I planted a kiss on his cheek. He popped into the car.

Twenty minutes later, I closed the door to my room and smiled lightly to myself.

_He likes me. _


	8. Technological Dinosaur

**HELL YEAH BITCHES IT'S FINALLY GETTING TO THE GOOD SHIT. There's a lot of cursing in this, I wrote it when I was in a really bad mood. Still am in a bad mood...**

**Anyway, enjoy it. **

**Monster Xx **

The memory of his lips stayed with me all night. I found it hard to sleep, when my jumper, slung across the back of my desk chair, was tinted slightly with the smell of his aftershave. After about three hours of being evaded by sleep, I threw the covers across the room and huffed downstairs.

But not before grabbing said deliciously scented jumper.

I flicked on the light in the kitchen, making a bee line for the fridge, obeying the angry growls from my stummy. Yeah. Stummy, a mix of stomach and tummy. I opened the fridge and let my eyes get a look of the situation. The fridge was bare.

_Anything-I-can-find-in-the-kitchen-sandwich it is then. _

After spending a good ten minutes stripping the kitchen to nudity, I was left with a strawberry and damson with melted cheddar and ready salted, prawn cocktail, salt and vinegar toastie with cheese and onion kettle chips on the side.

Jam toasted is not good, but all together; it was a fucking sexy sandwich.

After assembling my slap in the face to Gordon Ramsey sandwich, I sat at the table and booted up the ever faithful macbook, with every intention of wasting a few precious sleeping hours.

Once the beautiful _ahhh_ signalled that the laptop was fully turned on (;D) I logged onto Facebook and checked my emails, as you do when you're eating a monster sandwich at obnoxious and ungodly hours.

_Crystal Edgley: Oh mi g0 dim sooooo drnk aha epic night!_

So drunk you can't spell your own status yet you can type in your password without error...

I scrolled through the news feed and checked through my notifications before logging out and went onto my email inbox, where an email from an unnamed sender sat, with an attachment. Curiously, I clicked on it.

A video popped up.

Cautiously, I pressed play...

"_Hello? Is this thing on? Jesus, I'm a technological dinosaur, I swear... ahem. Hello! Valkyrie!" _ It was hard to make sense of the face that looked through the screen at me. Such a familiar face by now. _"Okay, so, you're watching this now, and if I know you at all, you've probably just gotten home from school-" _HA! _"And you're doing your homework... but I thought you'd like to have a little, techy reunion with a friend..." _

"_I swear to God, have you _never _heard of a mop? My Jimmy Choos are getting shit on them. Clean your floor!" _

China.

"_Listen you insolent little git. Either you tell me where the fuck I am or I rip you a new one, ok?"_

"_Ooh, I can see why you're friends with Valkyrie, you're feisty."_

Lake always was a cocky shit. He laughed into the camera and turned it round so I could see China tied to a wooden chair, blindfolded, in what looked like a really dingy, dirty, dark shit-hole basement.

"_Now, of course, there's a reason that I'm contacting you. Your dear friend Lake, is gone, say hello to Ronnie! _

Uh... What?

"_The name Lake was a fake, but, uh... Sian remains Sian... She always was Sian; I always wanted to be called Lake..." _Cue vacant expression.

"_Hey shit head! Get to the fucking point, it _smells _here!" _

"_Oh shut up you whore. Anyway, as you can _probably _tell, your annoying as fuck friend China is here with me, only, she's becoming a real pain in my ass, so I want her gone sooner than planned."_

"_Thank fuck for that." _

"_Shut the hell up! You're ruining the affect I'm going for here!" _He yelled, turning around to glare at China, who stuck her tongue out like a child.

"_So anyway, here's the deal, I have your friend here, but I don't want her, as... _appealing _as her assets may be," _He paused and gave a sleazy grin to the camera. *Le vom.* _"So what I want, is you, alone, at the Crown Quarry tomorrow at noon, because hey, if you were in China's position, you know she'd do the same."_

"_No I wouldn't!" _That was all I heard before the video cut off and I was left in silence. 

I sat at the kitchen table, my monster sarny suddenly not sounding so appealing...

For about ten seconds, I gobbled that down before heading upstairs and launching myself into Tanith's room.

Bad idea.

"Oh holy shit put some Goddamn clothes on!" I screamed, spinning on my heel and covering my eye.

_The agony... _

"Oh my God, Val I'm so sorry..." Tanith giggled as I heard her rummaging for some form of clothing. Ghastly groaned.

"Oh enough of that!" I said to him, just imagining what they'd been doing earlier... again; *le vom.*

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around cautiously, and Tanith stood grinning sheepishly, in one of Ghastly's shirts and a pair of manly boxers.

"Whasup?" She asked.

"Uh, you need to see this. Get Ghastly up, and then get Skulduggery, I'll get Fletcher." When I mentioned his name, Tanith winked rather obviously, and nudged me. "Oh shut up."

"I didn't say anything!" She raised her hands and turned back to the bed.

I left them to dress and went across the hall to Fletcher's room; I knocked and waited a few seconds before entering... learning from a few minutes ago.

"Hellooooo?" I swatted at the wall for the light, when I hit it, the room lit up and was filled with the sound of an awakening, grumpy but very good looking young man.

"Turn it off." He grumbled into his pillow.

"Ok." I turned off the light and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark... And when they did...

"Ooft!"

" things to doooo!" I slapped my hands down on his back – his very _topless and tanned _back.

"No. I'm fucking asleep, leave me alone." He said... at least I think that's what he said. I was too busy singing.

"Because the drugs never work! They're gonna give you a smirk, 'cause they got methods of keeping you clean!"

"Please stop!"

"Oh, you don't like My Chemical Romance? Ok then... How about... Manage me, I'm a mess, turn a page I'm a book half unread, I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because, I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough."

"You wanna feel weightless?"

"As a matter of fact, I think I do."

"Alright then."

Hands that were once lying limply against the duvet suddenly sprang forward and pressed down on the mattress and pushed. Sending Fletcher up and me backwards with a squeal. Next thing I know is he's above me and all I can think is; _He's fucking tickling me fuuuuuuuck! _

"Why didn't you stop singing? Now I'm awake, I won't be able to sleep again, Spawn of Satan!"

"No... no no no no no no no NEEEERRRRRR stop!" Cue giggle tears. You know it's good when you've got giggle tears.

"I won't stop till you say sorry!" I never noticed before, but our darling Fletch has a crucifix on a leather chord around his neck, huh, the things you notice during intimate tickling...

"I'm never saying sorry!" Fletcher grabbed his pillow and covered my face with it, but lightly.

"How about now?"

"No!" Came my muffled reply. He chuckled and removed the pillow, and sat back on his heels.

"You're very stubborn, you know that?" He smiled.

"I've been told..."

A comfortable silence fell between us, and I'd completely forgotten why I'd woken him, it didn't matter, we were in our own little world. Eh, nothing lasts forever.

"Uh, Valkyrie?" My head turned at the sound of my name, turned to the doorway where Ghastly stood.

"Yes?"  
"Aren't you going to show us what you woke us all for?"

"Ah, yes." I moved to stand from the bed.

"And there was me thinking you just wanted some Fletcher time." Fletcher winked.

"I can just get some Fletcher time later." I laughed as he stared at me with his mouth agape, and ran downstairs, my laughter subsiding when I realised, I _wouldn't. _I'll most probably be chilling with Lake... uh, Ronnie, in a dingy old basement tomorrow. Unless we're going to let China, a valuable contact be taken. And I may be gone for a good while, too.

**OX~XO**

My plan didn't go down well with the others.

Tanith was certain there was another way of going about it, and I'm sure there was, only we didn't have nearly enough time to find that other way.

Ghastly suggested we charge in there, guns blazing and just snatch China from their dirty mittens, but Ronnie didn't exactly give us an address and postcode to find them.

Skulduggery made it very clear he didn't want me going anywhere with a well placed punch to the wall.

And Fletcher, well... Fletcher didn't really say anything, just remained in his own little hair gelly world.

And there I stood, clutching his hand. Cold, wet, fricking terrified, and not alone. Eep. Every few minutes Fletcher would pop to the Quarry entry and look for oncoming cars, he never saw any, not until a rusty old Honda chugged through the gates. He popped back with a grave expression.

"They're coming now."

I nodded. He quickly wrapped me up in a big hug before kissing the top of my head.

"You'll be okay?"  
"Aren't I always?"

"Don't answer my question with a question, please..."

"Well... I don't know if I'm going to be okay, but I won't go crazy, promise."

"God, you're making me feel so much better." He rested his forehead against mine.

"You'd better get going or they'll see you."

"I don't want you to go."

Boy can pull your heart strings, let me tell you, I very nearly told him to take me away, but then I remembered I was doing this for China, not like she'd do it for me. I'm too good for the people around me.

"I don't want to go either, but you _need _to."

"I don't care what they'll do to me."

"They won't do anything to you, they'll do shit to me."

He took that into consideration before nodding.

"Okay, but remember one thing?"

"Oh... Kay?"

He kissed my cheek before squeezing my hand.

"That."

_Pop._

And I was alone.

The wind blew strong from the north, and I tightened Fletcher's hoodie around me. The Honda turned the corner. I watched it decrease in speed in silence until it was parked in from of me. The engine cut off.

"Ha! You actually came alone!" Ronnie said as he got out of the driver's seat. The door made a blood curdling squeal as the rust grated against the metal. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together before coming to stand in front of me. "Oh, we're going to have so much fun."

"Where's China?" I narrowed my eyes. He raised his hands in mock defeat and makes his way to the car, opens the boot and drags an unconscious, gagged, beaten and bloody China. "Let's hope you hold out longer than she does, she was no fun. Get in the car." He lay China on the ground and opened the back door. "Now."

I reluctantly took a final look behind me, took in the dismal rain, wind, dark skies, and got in the shitty Honda.

"Heeeey sexay..." sat in the back (now with me) was Bonnie. And she was looking at me as if I was something to eat. "How's it going? Been working out recently? Oh, okay you just stay quiet, keep your little secrets all for yourself, but," she shuffled closer, and leaned in so she was whispering in my ear, "Soon, I'll know _everything _about you. This is my gift from Ronnie... You."

"Oh shut up, Bonnie, little smurf. You'll know when it's playtime."

"Can I play with her first?"

"What do _I _get in return?"

"My undying love?"

"Yeah okay then."

The car was filled with the sound of Bonnie's giggles. She reached into her bag and bought out a bottle and rag, shook the bottle and poured the liquid onto the rag.

"Deep breaths now..." She held the rag over my mouth and nose, and it was only a few seconds before the Chloroform sent me under.

**So... Shit's gone down. What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Wish I hadn't ended it there? Drop me a review and tell me, it's much appreciated, and Amy?**

**Reeeaaaal smooth ;) ** **Tatty... 1000****th**** tweet *Loveheart* **


	9. We Stitch These Wounds

It took me five minutes to realise that I was awake, not in a dream.

The binds on my wrists cut harshly into the flesh as I twisted, as I tried to get away.

It took me ten minutes to recognize the intense pain the raked across my whole body.

I couldn't get away.

It took me fifteen minutes to begin to hear my surroundings...

It took me seventeen minutes to scream.

Why had I been so stupid? My sides burned, my arms holding my whole weight, if felt like I was being stretched. My hips ached, throbbing as though they were being crushed. My bare arms and calves raised in goosebumps the air whispering over my tired skin.

I wanted to sleep.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to go home.

Why hadn't I just left China here? I could have been at home. Or 'home'. I could have been in my room, or on the sofa, or eating in the kitchen. Or I could have been at the cinema with Fletcher. I could have been in my beautiful car, watching as the road disappeared beneath the hood and as the surrounding world flew by.

Why did I have to be _here?_

But I knew why I was there. I was there because I was too good of a person to sit back and watch a friend die. To watch a valuable asset be lost because I was selfish. I was there because... fuck, I didn't know then and I don't know now. I just wanted to go home.

A door being unlocked bought me out of my musings. I lifted my heavy head and watched through a hazy fog as _Ronnie, _(gotta get used to that) Sian and Bonnie walked into the large basement.

"Is she awake?" Bonnie asked. A light flickered on. Bonnie jumped around and clapped her hands, giggling manically to herself. "She's awake! Yayayayay... Does this mean I get to play first?"

Ronnie slumped onto a couch in the far corner; Sian plonked her slutty ass next to him.

"Sure, go for it; just make sure not to cause any long term damage." Ronnie waved his hand at Bonnie before turning back to a small device in his hand. Probably a phone... Or a Valkyrie Cain Destroying Device...

"Hey, Val..." Bonnie moved behind me, poked me in the small of my back. I swayed forwards, chains jingling. "How's it hanging?" She pushed me again, and moved in front of me. "Oh... me?" She produced a rather large and nasty looking blade. "I'm just cutting it loose. You're being awfully quiet, Valkyrie, give us a sign." She dragged the blade – the very _sharp_ blade – across my stomach drawing blood and a muffled cry for me.

"Come on, Val, let it out." She took the tip of the blade and jabbed it deep into the gash she'd just inflicted upon my skin. I groaned, but didn't scream. They wouldn't break me.

Bonnie continued to overlap lacerations on my stomach, cutting the cuts, stabbing the gashes, twisting the knife inside me. The white tank top I woke up in was soon cut to ribbons and a not so pure colour... I noticed that she made sure not to make the cuts too deep, so eventually, when I passed out, it wasn't from blood loss, but from exhaustion and pain.

~/~

_Thud. _

Swing.

_Crack. _

Swing.

_Swish... thud. Groan. _

Swing.

Dust fell from the ceiling as loud music caused the bass to thud through the floorboards.

The air was filled with smoke and the musky scent of a strong whiskey, the lyrics of a heavy band thundering around.

_You need a doctor baby, _

_You scared?_

I opened my eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the sudden light. My sides ached from the hours of abuse, cuts, bruises, broken ribs, any day before my... _scenery change _and I would have jogged on down to a sanctuary doc (now that Kenspeckle's gone) and I'd be right as rain in a few hours. But, seeing as I was stuck in a basement with three psychopaths chained to the ceiling and feeling pretty sorry for myself, chances of that happening weren't too high. So I dealt with the pain.

As Sian dropped the baseball bat she was using to beat me with, she turned and headed towards the sofa by the wall. I spoke up.

"In, looking at, young people _involved _in the occult... do you see any particular type of _dress?" _Sian, Bonnie and Ronnie turned to look at me. "Because I have, uh, personally observed people wearing... black fingernails... having their hair painted black-"

"What's she on about?" Ronnie asked to the room.

"Wearing black t-shirts" I continued "Sometimes, they will _tattoo _themselves." Then I began to nod my head furiously as best I could in my precarious position singing the opening riff to Knives and Pens. A very fitting song, considering my situation.

"I think she's lost it..."

"I have lost nothing! I am having fun! Let's take the vow, we will show you how! Your time has come _for the new religion, _your voice is proud, be a saviour now, the battles won, for the new religion... We are the unholy! We are the bastard sons of your media culture! Our minds, eyes and bodies were born of your exclusion, an illusion you hide behind, you don't love a God, you love your comfort. To you we are filth, we are dirty, so be it! We are dirty and un-clean, a congregation of the unseen! Together we will set this world on fire, this is the new religion! Can... Can you let me go now, please?" I went limp. Blacked out.

When I woke up, I was lying down on a thin and _very _uncomfortable mattress. But compared to the chains, it felt like a bed of pillows and marshmallows and petals and fluffy things. The basement was dark and the smell of smoke and whiskey was reduced to a background wiff.

Pain flared up my sides when I tried to sit up, I snapped my fingers, trying to produce a flame to examine the damage.

Nothing.

I tried again.

_Snap. _

Nothing.

Unicorns shitting rainbows the basement had – wonderfully – been bound. 'Insert sarcastic smile here'.

I huffed and lay back down again, wincing as my entire body ached.

Today was not a good day.

**Yeah, yeah, long time no see it's a short chapter don't winge. It was **_**really **_**hard to write torture, and as you can see, I did not succeed. **

**References to Knives and Pens and New Religion by Black Veil Brides... that's pretty much the whole chapter o.e *le sigh* leave me alone, I have writers block. Leave me happy things. Goodbye. **

**Monster. X **


	10. Crying Over Spilt Water

**Soooo… Long time no see? Ha. Understatement. **

**As I said in the last chapter, writing torture is hard e.e so I don't even know if it's any good, but if it is…**

**Don't make me say it, you make me feel needy. -.-**

**Enjoy…**

**The torture…**

**You sadistic motherfuckers. **

**Love! **

It had been two months.

Two months since I was stupid enough to agree with that daft girl, that same daft girl who's no doubt being tortured to within an inch of her life right fucking now.

By now, almost everyone knew about Valkyrie's 'disappearance', and you'd never believe the amount of girls who have approached me with offers to 'take my mind off it'. How pathetic can you get?

As of now, I'm sat in Val's car, listening to her shitty music, and wishing that she were here to complain to.

"_How can you like this guy? He wears makeup!"_

"_Dude, I swear, you knock Andy Biersack one more feckin' time I'm kicking you out. Fecking eejit."_

"_Whatever. What other CD's do you have?"  
"Glove compartment."_

I opened the glove compartment, where I remember her other disks to be hidden.

"_Asking Alexandria, Black Veil Brides, A Day To Remember, My Chemical Romance… Falling In Reverse, what a shit name for a band."_

"_Your face is a shit name for a band!" She laughed. _

"_Hey, for all we know, there's a musical protégée out there with a dream of calling his future band 'Your Face'. Don't crush his dream, Val. Think of the kittens!" _

"_You're an idiot!" She giggled._

Dragging a hand over my tired face, I shoved the CD's onto the passenger seat and started up the beasty car. The engine purred and started the console lighting up like little stars on the dash. I shifted it into reverse, and pulled out the drive. Tanith watched from the doorway.

I drove randomly and aimlessly. I couldn't help but feel like this entire situation was horribly my fault.

_From the depths of hell, _

_So far I fell, _

_A deal made with the devil, _

_After all the dust had settled._

The fucker Lake and his stupid bimbo Sian had moved states. Apparently so had some weirdo girl on the other half of the year, but I really don't give a fuck if I'm being perfectly honest.

_There's an hourglass of time,  
Counting down all of the lies,  
And with every grain of sand,  
Time is slipping through my hands._

I miss her so fucking much. She gave herself up for China, who's just lounging around at the house bossing people about. I've gone with the others to look for Davina, but I just can't be bothered any more. There's no sign of that whore, anyway.

I just wanna see her again.

~/~

_I'm bound by fear of being trapped,  
I'm falling faster, fade to black,  
Something's standing in my way,  
Hoping for better days._

"Valkyrie… Wake up."

I rolled onto my side, wincing as pain flared through my stomach and shoulders.

"Wake up now. I will kick you."

I groaned and curled up.

"Get the _fuck _up!" I felt a solid kick to my back, and quickly straightened out, muffling a cry.

Slowly opening my eyes, I was met with one face I definitely did _not _expect to see.

"You crazy bitch…" I quickly sat up and stood in a crouch, ignoring the pain.

"Now, now, that's so way to treat your host now is it?" Davina grinned from the wooden chair she was seated on. "In fact, I actually only just got here, and here you were… all bruised and beaten. How do you feel?"  
"Like shit." I spat at her.

"Oh, that's too bad." She pouted. "I wanted to have some fun with you today."

"Shame." I managed through gritted teeth.

"Oh well! We can still have lots of fun, even if I can't beat the delicious crap out of you." She grinned devilishly, and suddenly… I was very afraid.

"What do you mean."  
"Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise." A deep voice thundered from behind me, and a bag was thrown over my head and I let go.

~/~

My head lolled forward, and I felt a thick rag on my face. I was sat in a chair again, hands and legs bound to the arms and legs. The rag smelt vile, like petrol and sulphur.

I tried loosening my hands, but found them bound tight. Sighing, I relaxed my muscles and took the opportunity to try and regain my strength, I doubt even God knew how long I'd be here for.

No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn't get my mind to shut off, like it was telling me subconsciously to stay awake, stay alert.

And rightly so.

I head a series of thuds, decreasing in pitch, as (I assumed) someone came down the stairs. Once the thudding ceased, the scarping began, like when you drag a heavy box across cement, until it reached me. My breathing had rapidly increased.

I heard someone grunt and then –

Water.

Over my head, down my shoulders, across my front.

I'm drowning.

_Fuck I'm drowning! _

I felt the water fill my nose and mouth through the cloth, my hands strained against their binds and a muffled scream left my water filled mouth, making it more of a gargle.

My legs kicked involuntarily, causing the chair to jolt and creak. My tears mixed with the water that was slowly draining my energy.

I heard low chuckles and giggles drift through the room and then –

It stopped.

I sucked in a huge lungful of air, licking my lips. The water tasted foul, clean as it was.

My head dropped back as I took in the air, drinking it in like it was gold, and I was a greedy fucker.

I heard a bing.

~/~

After my drive, I lounged in my room. Flicked trough old photo's on my computer like the soppy, depressed teenager that I was.

I had my email inbox open, because… well, I don't know why I had my inbox open. But it's a good thing I did.

_You have one new video message. _

_Unknown sender. _

I jumped and ran into the kitchen, screaming and yelling for everyone else to converge there as I went.

The video buffered and loaded as we all crowded around the small laptop.

"Hurry the fuck up!" I yelled, smashing my hands down on the kitchen table.

"Calm down, Fletcher, it's loading." Tanith patted my arm soothingly, and I gave her an apologetic smile.

Just then, the little triangle in a box popped up on the screen, indicating that the video had successfully loaded. I scrambled for the chair and hunched down before hesitantly pressing the space key.

"_Is it on?" _

"_Yes, Ronnie. Go get the stuff and let me do the speeches." _

That bastard Lake.

"_Hello Skulduggery! How are you? Me? Oh, I'm fine, sitting in a shitty little cellar with nothing to do…oh wait, yeah I do!"_

"Davina Marr, _that's _where she is," Breathed Skulduggery.

_Yeah no shit old man. _

"_You see, we kinda need her awake for this…"_ Marr stepped to the side, showing a figure with a rag over their face tied to a chair.

_Valkyrie! _

Finally, she stirred, moving her head, trying to tug her hands free from their ropes, shuffling to try and move her feet but was granted no movement. Eventually, she relaxed.

I watched as the camera turned, showing as Lake/Ronnie lugged what looked to be a water butt down the stairs. The shot followed him as he dragged it across the floor and in front of her.

I could see her breathing increase as he got closer.

Then he lifted the butt and poured it all over her.

I saw her struggle, try to breathe. Fail. Flail. Twist her hands to get free. Remain trapped. I heard her screams. Her cries. She thought she was drowning.

_This is torture._

Not only that, but I could see the cuts, and the tears and the wounds on her skin. Skin caked with blood and grime and sweat.

_I let this happen to her. _

How could I ever forgive myself knowing that I let her be taken?

China stifled a sob behind me. As did Tanith. This was their friend, _our _friend.

_And I did this to her. _

_I fucking did this. _

_Fuck. _


End file.
